There are so many aspects to parenting no one can prepare you for. That couldn’t be truer than as a NICU parent. I wasn’t ready to see my daughter hooked up to machines and I am struggling with asking why my body failed. Why wasn’t my womb enough for her? I feel so guilty sometimes.
She is doing as well as a preemie her age can. Each milestone she hits is met with celebration and set backs with determination. She has been fighting so hard to grow and get well. I don’t know when she can come home but I know she is in the best place. Her doctors and nurses giving her love and care has made this part easier to bear.
As of right now she is in a crib and weighs 1820 grams. That’s roughly four pounds. She can wear clothes now and looks adorable in her little jammies.
I have so many people to thank for all the wonderful preemie clothes she has to wear. I wasn’t expecting a preemie and it’s because of these angels that I have things for my daughter to wear. I also have to give a huge shout out to the team of doctors and nurses that helped me while I was hospitalized prior to her birth. They made a very scary situation pass as smoothly and comfortably as it could. I am alive and so is my daughter because of them.
I’ve been able to change her diapers this week. That’s something we as parents look at as a chore and take for granted. But not being allowed to do even that was hard. So I celebrate that I was able to change a diaper. I celebrated feeding her for the first time last week. Each small moment is big while in NICU. We celebrate the small stuff because when you’re small everything is big!